Steven Sim

I was just thinking of the old legend of Lilith, no time to divulge much info here…go wiki “Lilith”.

Anyway, the story goes that Lilith, Adam’s first wife, spoke god’s name and attained power to liberate herself from Adam. 

The thing about names in the Bible…there is something of a person, not just his personality, but a bit of his personhood in his name. Knowing someone’s name is like knowing him, it’s like reading him like a book. It’s like putting one’s finger on him at last.

See how Jacob asked the name of his wrestling partner by the stream of Jabbok (Gen 32:29). And Moses at the Burning Bush, insisted on god revealing his name (Ex 3:13), reminiscence of the legend of Lilith luring god into revealing his name to her. 

But unlike the god in the Lilith-story, Moses’ god revelation about his name was both an answer and a non-answer. The non-answer, god said, “I am Who I am” (or “I will be What I will be”) - it was as good as saying, “I am Me” (if I may interject in hokkien and in the Singaporean tongue - lim peh si lim peh). But that was god’s answer. He refused to be pinned down - I am Who I am. God’s personhood has or rather is a profound freedom of self-expression. 

There is something about the Christian god who refused to be boxed. When we think we have said the final word about god, the Bible reminded us that he is the “I am Who I am” (or “I will be What I will be”). And if we are humble enough to let god be god, such a divine personhood is like a bottomless well. We may draw water from close to the surface, but as we let down our bucket, we realized that it went on and on…there is still cold refreshing stream underneath which we previously did not know of. And deeper, and deeper and deeper…

And then there’s the question we need to face - do we dare to venture deeper? Or perhaps we’re contented to believe that we have said the final word on god. Jacob pinned god down in a wrestling match, but he did not know god’s name till the end. Instead it was god who pinned down his name -Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel (Gen 32:8) - true knowledge, St. Paul said is, paradoxically, not that we know, but we are known by god (1 Cor 8:2). 

And again in Moses’ case, god addressed Moses by name and knew him intimately. But Moses was clueless. He, like Jacob, tried to pry into god’s name. Like Lilith the demoness. But “I am Who I am”. God gave him first a history lesson, I am the god of Abraham, the god of Isaac, the god of Jacob. See, and learn, god’s involvement in our common human experience. Then a mission (Let My people go), then power (the magic staff). Perhaps the point is not about knowing god’s name and pinning him down, but to partner him in his work here on earth and getting to know him in the process. Or getting to be known by him in the process. And I believe it’ll always be “getting to”, if god is to be god, and we’re humble enough to let him be, then even in his knowing us, it’ll always be fresh. Because as St Paul said, on one hand, we are known by god, but the other side of the coin is we loving god. And again, when the shift is to us as the epistemological object, then the well is infinitely deep for us to draw. 

And maybe, just maybe, maybe that’s the sort of liberation which the story of Lilith tried to convey. As we draw from the infinitely deep well, we are drawn into the rich and profound freedom, pure and total freedom of divine self-expression. “And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free…”

Too dense? It’s past midnight, I had to…